very entertaining writing style

Now this is the kind of content I come to Hacker News for.

> Appears to not age but also to never have been young

/me snorts

Honestly, the surest sign of the existence of vampires to me would be a class of investors with extremely anomalous discount rates, suggesting that they are operating on inhumanly long time horizons, combined with a particular interest in real estate, as first documented in the field's seminal publication (Stoker, 1897).

If interested in rejuvenation, I would suggest investigating LEVF's Robust Mouse Rejuvenation.

RMR1 done and shows promise, RMR2 started recently.

This is a fun story from the early 18th century if you haven't read about it

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_of_St._Germain

Interesting... I first went to the linked recent post What the Longevity Experts Don't Tell You. Sorry to be harsh: it was nonsense. It just lists a few weird, unscientific behaviours of John D Rockefeller and tries to draw lessons (to what end? longevity? is Rockefeller still alive?) from them despite there being no indication those behaviors even had any effect, let alone positive impact on longevity. It also doesn't bring up things "the longevity experts don't tell you," it's just summaries of topics in a single biography.

Still I gave this article a shot. I don't understand what it's doing. Like, one of the points about Thiel is that he destroyed Gawker to cover up his vampirism. He actually destroyed Gawker to cover up his relationship to Epstein, the pedophile and saboteur of US social/economic integrity. Why put a silly spin on that? I guess the entire thing is just a little joke... just doesn't feel like it belongs on the HN front page. I had higher expectations.

I hope the old vampire Dons give some fashion advice to the new guys, e.g. “A vampire doesn’t wear Arc’teryx“.

Hope the author has some garlic silverware lying around after such a revealing article

The article misses the simplest technique:

Just donate blood as often as possible. This results in a loss of cholesterol, other bad lipoproteins, excess iron in those who have it, and PFAS toxins. It is frequency-dependently associated with longevity.

Whole blood donation avoids the plastic lining of plasma donations, with the latter undesirably transferring unwanted microplastics into the body.

For those with sufficient spare money, instead of donating blood, just get various blood tests every other week, additively comparable to a donation if the tests are substantial.

Granted, this is antithetical to being a vampire, but you will still have to make up for it by supplementing sufficient healthy nutrients, e.g. electrolytes, ferric pyrophosphate, protein, etc. to allow your body to quickly restore the lost blood.

As a disclaimer, do not ever donate blood if you use narcotics, disallowed drugs, injectable drugs, or have unsafe intimate practices, or might have chagas or TB or even long Covid.

>The public begins to associate blood transfusion with eccentric billionaires rather than with undead predators. This is a critical narrative shift.

Not much of a shift...

Why am I reading this in Freddie Mercury's signing voice?

Completely OT: In the link “what the longevity experts don’t tell you”[1] I found this:

“As a devout Baptist, he couldn’t use playing cards…”

And I’m wondering if I missed something in my Baptist upbringing. I have long since removed myself from any semblance of the Church and manage my own relationship with faith and any related higher beings, so it’s more a curiosity than pertinent.

1 - https://machielreyneke.com/blog/longevity-lessons/

>They drink blood because their own blood accumulates factors that accelerate aging, and they need to periodically dilute it. Feeding isn’t nutrition. It’s dialysis.

This seems to be the emerging consensus. When you get older your metabolism creates all kinds of crap that circulates in the blood.

You would like to have boosted kidneys parallel to real ones that can detect and remove all the slightly wrong proteins.

Big if true :P

> Here’s what’s genuinely interesting.

That's my current AI detector smell.

> He discontinued the blood exchange after data showed “no benefits.” A suspicious person might note that a vampire would say exactly this after the media got too interested.

I don't think it's the media (clearly the younger generations are media friendly), it's probably pressure from the older vamps.

> Increased sun exposure was associated with an older appearance and accelerated with age (p
0.015), as was a history of outdoor activities and lack of sunscreen use.

Bahman Guyuron et al., "Factors Contributing to the Facial Aging of Identical Twins" (2009) https://gwern.net/doc/longevity/2009-guyuron.pdf

Fantastic. Several halloweens ago I wore vampire fangs and told a beautiful girl at a concert that I worked at the local blood bank. She said "yeah?" and I followed up with, "would you like to make a donation?"

> The Suspects Peter Thiel

Has anyone tried garlic on him?

> Vampires don’t drink blood because young blood contains an elixir. They drink blood because their own blood accumulates factors that accelerate aging, and they need to periodically dilute it.

I don't think this makes sense. Our bodies do not use the same blood forever.

Flawless logic!

I have a spoiler-tastic fan theory about the movie Marty Supreme that is apropos here.

Early chatgpt really did not like it when I asked if Peter Thiel was a vampire.

I was hoping he would provide some insight about why they avoid the sun. From observation, thiel looks like he is getting too much sun, or at least his skin has been reengineered like Alucard. While Johnson is just cake [0].

Side note: for once, I'm enjoying a heavily AI assisted article.

[0]: you'll have to find that reference on your own.

Interesting that the author didn't mention anything about stem cell injections. Those have been in vogue among the elite for decades (millennia?).

Fun read but I stopped after detecting AI:

"The young blood doesn’t add youth. It removes age."

"Feeding isn’t nutrition. It’s dialysis."

Etc. Why is LLM so enamored with the "Its not x, its Y" idiom? Its so ridiculously overused its almost comical

I'm not really sure if the author (i.e. generative language model) is being serious or being sarcastic...

Time to break the Masquerade it seems.

I think we're witnessing a schism within the vampire community. By the end of the article, the author is less than subtle about being Dracula, and is trying to use the respect his name no doubt commands among vampires to get the unruly youth(relatively speaking) to get their shit together. This article is a warning to Thiel and Johnson. Dracula sees you, and he does not approve of what he sees.

see also Floyd Kemske, "Human Resources: A Corporate Nightmare"

https://archive.org/details/HumanResourcesPdf

> Corporate management is the use of humans as resources. So is vampirism.

>Biomethods, Inc. is a struggling biotechnology company whose venture capital group is growing tired of pumping in new blood every quarter.

Love this concrete interpretation. The symbolic one is maybe more interesting:

Vampires:

- Consume the life force of the living to sustain themselves

- Are totally isolated and perverted from any kind of human community

- Have no family, no community ties

- Unable to feel love, warmth, connection with any human

- Must avoid spending time in the virtuous natural world (daylight, sunlight) and must instead be cordoned off indoors or in darkness, they do not live as most natural things do.

- Are kind of fallen/perverted; at one point, they were human, but they failed at being human (for instance: unbaptized, excommunicated, murderous, etc) and so were forced into exile often due to their own choice to live sinfully

Billionaires:

- cannot become a billionaire without thousands/millions of regular non-billionaires siphoning money (== time, == life force) upwards

- when they become a billionaire they are forced to be distanced from their community/family of normal people; middle class people are never "regular friends" with billionaires

- either their normal family/friends are 'bitten/infected' (wealth inheritance) or cut-off

- often are profoundly isolated on a personal level (are they talking to me for my money or for me?)

- often the direct cause of or at least complicit in the destruction of the natural world (i.e. cut off from sunlight; unnatural)

- often must make unethical or immoral choices to catapult themselves to wealth/powers (fallen, sinful)

> Stoker, a theatre manager with no medical background, somehow described the basic mechanism of heterochronic parabiosis

Just to pick a nit...

Stoker's story was inspired by "The Vampyre" by physician John Polidori, who doubtless knew whatever his contemporary medics knew about blood.

Polidori, Lord Byron, and Mary Shelley told scary stories to each other by Lake Geneva in 1816, the "year without a summer". It couldn't get more gothic.

https://publicdomainreview.org/essay/the-poet-the-physician-...

Something I've wondered for a long time: Can a vampire enter your home uninvited if they are a cop with a warrant?

The novels Blindsight & Echopraxis by Peter Watts have a nice vampire sub-plot... basically his world has vampires which have been revived from the fossil record. They are posited to have gone extinct in recent times, but before then were human's key predator, keeping our populations strongly in check and then having to hibernate for decades to allow the breeding to provide new meat!

He's super interested in brain disorders and spins a good story about the trade offs of a terrible reaction to right angles in exchange for savant like powers of perception.

"But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be." (Matthew 24:37)

More and more, you are seeing what occurred in the time of Noah become commonplace to talk about under the guise of technology. In Noah's day, there was a hybridization program to dilute the blood of man to prevent the coming of the Messiah, but Noah was "perfect in his generations", or not part of the hybrid lines branching off of humanity. And now, what is old has become new again.

The article might address the topic in satire, but there is a truth that is being touched on in it that is hard to look at -- the use [devouring of, injection of, swapping out of, ritualization of, etc.] human blood and tissue is happening right under our noses, and it's nothing new. The vampires lore did not just come out of some sort of novel work of fiction or a novelization of a fable, but is rooted in something that is very, very real. Vampire-like beings existed in the pre-flood (antediluvian) days, but now only exist in spirit after their bodies were destroyed by the flood. The spirits, desiring to be embodied, now go about the rituals of what once created them all over again, so that we might have a new generation of their brand of evil come forth.

What you're witnessing on a large scale through global politics is the public-facing humiliation ritual of mankind being carried out by the fallen angels and those under them that long sought our destruction:

   1) The epstein file information showing all sorts of satanic/luciferian references, as well as possible cannibalism
   2) Xi and Putin discussing organ harvesting benefits (implying an underlying focus on it)
   3) Congressional disclosure of inter-dimensional beings existing and being unexplainable.
   4) The saturation of things that would have been considered unabased debauchery in generations past being put into every facet of culture as if coordinated

If you even give credence to one of the things I listed, then you're keenly aware that it's nearly impossible to talk to anyone about that topic unless they've self-selected into a social group that already believes that that thing is wrong. Others embrace one or more of the topics as a positive thing, such as welcoming the idea of inter-dimensional beings, or furthering human lifespans through genomic editing, or even just promoting the type of debauchery that would have had entire cities leveled in Old Testament times.

But, this has all been prophesied to happen, and is happening exactly as it is spoken of. The truth is being suppressed, even within ones own mind, because a person of the world of today does not love the truth. There is only one way to enter in to the truth, which is to begin seeking the person whose very name is Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11). According to the following verses, to not do so would lead one into a delusion from which there is no escape:

"The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness." (2 Thessalonians 2:9-12)

Nicely put, I hope you have very potent solar lamps at home

Vampire therapy is real. Give an old person an infusion from a closely-matched teenager and they improve by almost every metric. This isnt speculation. It is a noted side effect of any treatment invovling transfusion. (It also helps that older immune systems are less active and react less dramatically to forgien blood.)

As a member of a prominent Transylvanian family, I am appalled, and profoundly offended, by the idea of someone even as much as suspecting Peter Thiel could be a vampire. He might be an evil bloodsucking parasite, but he lacks the sophistication mortals have come to associate with vampires over the centuries. It's shocking, really, that some people might confuse him with one.

Oh there are vampires. They are very old. But they are mostly illusions of light. Once the veil is removed the disappointment of hell sets in. Smoke, mirrors, DNA, sound.

The French people didn't invest the most elaborate head chopping off machine for just spectacle…

Reasonable hypothesis. Supported by data. Seems legit

Incredibly sad to lear that Peter Thiel owns so much land in one of the earth’s most beautiful places.

If I was a kiwi I would be livid at the government allowing this purchase to go through.

Hard to tell if it's a sarcasm or not.

I'm convinced that those weird purple blotches on POTUS's hands are caused by transfusions from his blood boy.